To every silver lining there is a cloud, to every yin a yang, to every top ten movies of the year list there is a bottom ten list. This here is one of said bottom ten lists. Be warned this is a list of movies so poor than Batman v Superman couldn’t make it in.
- The Angry Birds Movie
Oh how we all laughed when they said they were going to make a movie about the 2009 app sensation Angry Birds in this the year of 2016. Shame none of us were laughing while watching it though.
- Blair Witch
The only good thing I have to say about Blair Witch is that it may have finally killed off found footage horror for good.
- London has Fallen
You remember that film where Gerard Butler shouts a bit and saves the president from the nasty foreigners. Remember how it was very ok? Well now there’s another one and it’s not ok at all. In fact it’s actually very poor. Trouble is this isn’t even poor old Gerry’s worst of the year.
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
Hello and welcome to the least surprising entry to this list. Now let’s move on.
- Alice through the Looking Glass
Lo and Behold another sequel, this time it’s the most astronomically stupid movie I think I’ve ever seen. A film so poorly put together and churned out it manages to break not just the basic rules of storytelling and science, but also to break its own nonsense time travel rules.
- Now You See Me 2
You know how I literally just said Alice 2 was the stupidest movie I had ever seen, I take it back. Now You See Me 2 is the stupidest movie I have ever seen in my life. This is a film engineered around stupid ass twists, some of which so stupid they can’t physically be possible. It’s an absolute bloody shambles.
- Independence Day: Resurgence
Independence Day: Resurgence cost 165,000,000 American dollars to produce, and yet it manages to have significantly worse special effects than the first one did in 1996. In a year of terrible sequels and remakes this was the second worst of all.
- Gods of Egypt
Poor old Gerry Butler. The man just cannot get a break. Gods of Egypt makes Wrath of the Titans (the weak sequel to 2010’s Clash of the Titans) look like Citizen Kane. And that’s all I have to say really.
- Dirty Grandpa
Dirty Grandpa is an alleged comedy movie that I did not laugh at once and more than a few times made me feel unpleasant. There is only so much of Oscar Winner Robert de Niro talking about how funny and cool having sex with people a third of your age is I can take, turns out it’s under 2 minutes. This movie is 102 minutes long.
- Zoolander 2
Could it have been anything else really? Sure Dirty Grandpa made me feel unpleasant, but Zoolander 2 physically hurt me. Watching it felt like someone was forcibly ripping out my soul through my chest. The worst movie not just of this year, but of many years.