Zoolander 2

When an antagonistic force starts killing off celebrities, Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are called out of retirement to reprise their roles from like fifteen years ago (Christ was it that long ago??) and stop whatever it is that is killing these celebs. Although to be honest I’m surprised anyone survived this abomination.


Zoolander 2 is the worst film I have yet seen in 2016. It’s not even especially close.


In terms of positives, there aren’t really any I’m afraid. I mean it had a good trailer, but somehow scenes that I chuckled at in the trailer actually ended up worse in the film. The Justin Beiber bit – incidentally the funniest part of the film – which I found genuinely very funny in the trailer somehow lost all of its witty delivery and just lasted way too long. It’s like the trailer had a B-list director but the film itself had maybe a T-list director.


The overriding emotion I felt whilst watching Zoolander 2 was one of sickness really. I really really like the first one, and this one made me feel quite ill to be honest. In general I don’t believe in films ruining past ones or anything like that, but watching Zoolander 2 I did genuinely think to myself “was Zoolander actually that funny is the first place because this is painful”.


As an example of how this film has drastically devalued from the original, think about how in the first the “big” cameo was David Bowie. In Zoolander 2 you get Sting. Exactly.


I’m really finding it quite difficult to talk about this movie without my stomach turning. I’ve never been this disappointed with a film. Everything that made you love the first Zoolander is completely gone and instead you have endless parading of celebrities, fat shaming jokes, Owen Wilson’s dead eyes and delivery, a horrible cgi finale and the worst Ben Stiller has ever been. Zoolander 2 is so bad that to talk about how offensive some of it’s jokes and characters are would be to give it a service it does not deserve by even claiming it has jokes or characters.


Avoid this like the plague. Honestly it’s so bad it hurt me.




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