Johnny Depp is an aristocratic moustachioed twit. He gets mixed up with some kind of art heist involving some Russian mobsters, a famous nymphomaniac and an insurmountable quantity of scenes containing Depp being a buffoon.

I’m going to be honest with you, I had to read the Wikipedia page to realise what the plot actually was, because I had no idea there even was one from watching the film. It’s mainly just a series of tremendously unfunny sketches revolving around Depp having a moustache and being a bit of an idiot. While it is extremely unfunny though, I don’t think it ever quite entered the realm of painfully unfunny. So if you were wondering whether you should watch this or Unfinished Business (why you would ever have to make such a horrific choice is beyond me) please pick Mortdecai, unless having permanent damage done to your mental state sounds appealing.

The performances here are universally rubbish, with the sole exception of one Paul Bettany who is actually rather good. And you know what good on him for actually going for it, instead of wandering around looking dead inside. And actually that same praise goes for the filmmakers as well, because while it is an awful film – like properly properly awful – at least they put some effort into it. Again a reason for you to watch this instead of the lazy abomination that is Unfinished Business.

Overall, though I feel bad about it, I did actually laugh during Mortdecai. And not just once either, I actually laughed a whole two times. Granted they were both at Paul Bettany, but I suppose in a way it is infinitely funnier than Unfinished Business (I mention it so much because it is the only other adult comedy out at the moment that I’ve seen). But it is still a dreadful mess of a film.



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