Taken 3

Liam Neeson is back as Bryan Mills – a man with a very particular set of skills – only this time, um nobody is taken. Liam Neeson is framed for murdering Famke Janssen his ex-wife, meanwhile there is this Russian stereotype killing some people because he’s evil like.

Ok let’s start with the good, or rather the fine elements of Taken 3. The opening scene is fine, it’s a perfectly alright opening thriller scene. The opening credits are fine. Liam Neeson is fine, doing the kind of gravelly action hero he could do in his sleep now. And Forest Whitaker is fine, as the cop with the rubber bands and interesting speech patterns.

And now for the bad. And good grief, there is a lot of bad. So after the fine opening, we start to follow Liam Neeson in his everyday life. And for fourteen minutes absolutely nothing happens, it is soul crushingly dull, I was pleading for Liam just to shoot somebody. But then the action started. And here lies the main problem with the film. The action scenes are absolutely dreadful. Apocalyptically bad. It looks for all the world like it’s been cut by a three year old, it’s all over the place. You actually begin to lose track of what’s going on even if all that’s happening is Liam Neeson running. This is all summed up in a car chase sequence, where presumably the director has decided that to make it look fast paced, he has to cut as fast as he can, and have as many different shots as possible in a second. The effect is this awful nauseating blur of different people and car parts and sound effects and bits of road. And by the end of the sequence, for the life of me I could not tell you what car Liam Neeson was even in, let alone what direction he was going, or what side of the bloody road he was on, or just what the hell was going on. And on top of that, you don’t even care what’s going on, so it just end up as you watching this really loud fast slide show of blurry Liam Neeson photos with some car parts chucked in. It’s monumentally bad.

Overall, this without a doubt will not be the best action film of the year, it won’t be the best action film of the month and you know what it probably won’t even be the best Liam Neeson action film of the month. It’s dreadful.

1/10

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