Only just made this list ahead of Exists, mainly because while I expected Exists to be kind of crap, I thought Annabelle might be alright. But it played out like a version of Drag me to Hell without the laughs. Just a very poor horror film overall.
- Sex Tape
Unfortunately for Cameron Diaz this was only her second worst movie of the year. The word limp has never been more applicable for a film than it is here. If you have low comedy standards you might count two gags in the movie. It really feels like a five minute sketch stretched over 94 minutes. It’s not funny and it’s far far too boring.
- Ride Along
As Mark Kermode so aptly put it this is “an action-comedy devoid of both action and comedy”. There is really nothing more to say about it.
Without a doubt the worst horror of the year. Substitutes gasps for yawns and doesn’t even have a countless number of loud bangs to try and liven the movie up a little. It’s just a nothing film. Watching it is essentially like just scrubbing off 89 minutes from your life.
- 300: Rise of an Empire
Where the first 300 was tongue in cheek camp fun with a shouty Gerard Butler. 300 2 is a truly funless experience, with Eva Green doing her best to survive this sinking ship of a movie. And she does actually come across rather well after the duration, because everyone else involved is absolutely awful. To call the performances here wooden would be an insult to the ships they appear with.
- Third Person
Just awful. The only reason it is not lower on the list is because right at the beginning before anyone utters one of their stupid lines, there a shot that is quite nicely shot.
- The Other Woman
Not only is the Other Woman not funny in any shape or form, but it also quite offensive. Billed as a pro-woman movie about females doing stuff for themselves, what The Other Woman actually plays out as, is a horrid re-enforcing of all the worst Hollywood female stereotypes. It does have Nicki Minaj in it though, so that’s something.
- Pudsey the Dog: The Movie
Definitely the worst made movie on the list. The film making technique here makes the vanarama adverts look like Citizen Kane. But at least it isn’t offensive.
What we have here is a hateful mixture of dull cgi, poor acting, glorified incest, crippling misogyny and unlikeable characters. I hate it. And so should you.
- Transformers 4: Age of Extinction
Transformers 4 has everything that was wrong with Noah (as listed above) but replaces incest with rape jokes and adds in racism. It’s also about half an hour longer. Really there was never any contest as to which film was going to be the worst of 2014.