Third Person

Liam Neeson is a Pulitzer Prize winning author who is struggling to finish his new book, due to his inner turmoil over the two women he loves in his life (His wife Maria Bello, and his mistress Olivia Wilde). Meanwhile Mila Kunis might have endangered the life of her child, causing her and James Franco to fight over the divorce rights. Also Adrian Brody is some shifty bloke in Italy who tries to help a woman he doesn’t know but find attractive to see her daughter that may or may not exist, by stealing her money? All of these individual stories are all linked supposedly as well.

Ok, so I should probably start off with the fact that Third Person is abysmal. It’s a real stinker. I mean I didn’t hate every single second of it, I actually quite enjoyed the first two minutes before any of the dialogue. I enjoyed the establishing shots of each of the characters, and the different lighting for each story. But really that is it for positives.

The acting isn’t all wooden in this, the Italian barman does a decent job of being a little bit useless as a barman, and Liam Neeson does his best with a role he has been horrifically miscast for. And generally I think everyone involved tries their hardest with what can only be described as an abomination of a script. It’s not even like it’s a script that was doomed from its inception, because the actual idea behind this is decent enough: Three connected storylines two of which may or may not be the construct of Liam Neeson in his book. But the dialogue in Third Person is just so god damn atrocious. Just check out the Adrian Brody hitting on Katy Louise Saunders in an Italian bar scene, and bear in mind it’s all this rubbish.

I also have a problem with Liam Neeson and Olivia Wilde’s relationship which essentially is based around Liam being horrible and at times abusive, and then Olivia saying it’s all her fault for being moody, and they both agree and just move on. It’s uncomfortable to watch a film promote this twilight-esque abusive relationship positively. I also don’t believe that the two characters would ever be together. I also don’t for a second buy that after realising that Adrian Brody just stole her money that Katy Louise Saunders wouldn’t completely freak out and hit him or something. But instead Adrien says something like, I did it because I wanted to see you again, and that’s romantic? Stealing someone’s money so you can see them again? What?

Overall this is two and a half hours of crushingly dull story telling filled with the worst kind of romance cliché riddled dialogue and unbelievable characters. Avoid this movie.

1/10

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